Yuunagi
by AoiTsubasa
Summary: The war had changed all of them, for better or worst. And now another one is on its way. Relationships had once again rekindle. Will Athrun lose Lacus again? Or will Yzak successfully attain the white queens heart? A x L x Y
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it…and never will too so were all clear right.

**Author's Notes: **Yes after deep thinking, I wanted to re-do this whole story…while it's only on the twelve-ish chapters…it'll get too much of a hassle to have it remake after its done. Not much had change…it's probably the middle chapters that's going to change a whole lot, there are stuff that I want to change too…well let's just see what happens to it. My main points and idea is probably going to remain though. Plus it doesn't take much of a time to re-do chapters than it is to make a fresh one so…this remaking process could be a little faster…but would mostly be done on the weekends.

Chapter one is mostly spoilers…it won't continue on as a full story of spoilers forever. Plus I think this page is a lot more grammar error free than the last one.

Oh and before I set things loose again…let's make an announcement shall we. Please don't sent a flame about the pairings…it's ridiculous really. I mean really I admire your love and devotion to your favorite canon pairings. But please have a little respect. If you don't want to read it, then don't. If you don't like the pairings there's no reason to drop by and say things not so nicely.

**Kaisou suru-to recollect (reminiscence in other words)**

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**YUUNAGI**

**CHAPTER 1**

**KAISOU SURU**

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She couldn't help but admire the lucid sky even on one of her busies days. She had left her office hours ago to take a small break from the papers that needed her signatures.

So many things had happen lately that she found herself enjoying this small leisure of gazing at the sky freely, without any worry, except for remembering the past. The reminiscence of it, reminded her how she was but a carefree young lady not too long ago.

Those were the happiest years of her life. She would run like the wind with okapi following shortly behind her, or ride her mechanical friend like she usually did, weeding her beautiful garden, tending it with all the care she could give, or drinking tea without worries. The future was something she never bothered to think about then. She was young and naïve. Just as people had thought of her to be, but even her naivety had its boundaries.

There was certain futures that she did think about, but it certainly didn't included her being a mind behind a faction to stop people from doing something that they would gravely regret. She was only a happy cheery young lady, expecting to get married with Athrun Zala someday…but even that was taken away from her.

All of it…all those happy days were snap away from her when the dawns of war decided to have their drums rang loudly for the people to hear. And the aggression starts, rekindling old scars and creating new ones.

She had never felt helpless in her life, except for that moment. Everything decided to take another turn. Her father, being the busy man that he is, had only become busy; trying to stop a merciless slaughter for revenge. And her fiancé, he had. All that was left of all she had known of him was taken away by the flames of war. Her fiancé had gone all cold.

She remembered how she and her father would always held conversations jumping through topics, it didn't matter what it was, it could have been anything; politics, the nature of mankind, to planting. The both share the same beliefs and philosophy. They both believed that there was no difference existing between two individuals that are born differently.

She missed all of those, but most importantly she had dearly missed her father. Her loving and understanding father had only wanted a peaceful world for future generations, for her generations to come. She had understood his wishes. She understood for it was what she had hoped for. Now she must carry on with those hopes and dreams. She will be the one to fulfill her father's ideals.

She shook her head standing near the trees in the park, "No they are my ideals now," she murmured to herself.

She promised to herself that she would fulfill those hopes in the memory of her beloved father, for his sake, hers, and for everyone. Even if it means finding herself on the same downfall.

The pine trees of PLANTS fascinated her glancing through them as she walked by, spending her break with a small walk through the park that's near the PLANT's main official house.

She admired those strong trees, it had reminded her of somebody special; a person that would always stood up even to the strongest storm. And when it's raining it only deepen the ties with that person.

The rain signifies the worlds plea and pain, it cries in deep sadness for things to come and things that had occurred that are now gone. The stronger it gets the more it weeps. It wasn't far from what he had become.

He wasn't always cold. No. She could remember him having innocent ray of light when she first had met him. His smiles were warm and beautiful to look at.

The roses that he always bring for her was easily passed for his twin; its hue would stain his cheeks. She always giggled at that thought, one of the many that she will continue to treasure.

The first talk that they held in her gardens was the beginning of everything. He was stiff and uncomfortable, she noted that it could be because of their relationship to be, but she had dismissed her thoughts trying to make him more comfortable by starting a conversation. But his retort to the situation was anything but close to comfortable. He replied awkwardly and making cute sounds that she had come to love with his visits that followed that day.

His first visit ended with conversations concerning the future, and their possible future child, and fixing her favorite mechanical aid.

After the incident with her mechanical yellow aid, he brought her a present…her pink haro. She loves presents that came from their hearts, and was even happier when he made more for her. The Haro's became her friends when the war had spread into an open, they were her only companion when her friends slowly abandoned her to join in the war.

And more importantly the news of him joining in; had crushed her the most. She couldn't specify what kind of burden and grief he was experiencing; she could only acknowledge it, since she never knew the pain of losing one's mother, she grew up without one.

The war changed him. The death of his mother was the very beginning of it. No one could change it, he didn't allow anyone to, he only let it flow and take him to where it would eventually lead him; like the rain when it downpours like it would never end, with no particular direction. She had always perceived his stubbornness, he always had to be on top of things, always the strong one, even if deep inside he was screaming from the excruciating pain and emotions rushing inside of him.

The new him that bloom from that war terrified her. He didn't open his thoughts to her like he used to do and refused to be comforted since his pride won't allow him to. She could only understand his situation, his pain, and his despair; never could she comfort him; give a leaning hand, shoulder, lap, or any part of her to him; because he would refuse her attempt.

He was always fighting a one mans battle and his despair only grew when he had to fight him, his best friend.

Kira…like Athrun had needed comfort and understanding, but unlike him he didn't hide it or run away from it, he had yearned for it. With what she saw in Kira's suffering had reminded her how little she could really do, but she provided that comfort and understanding for Kira.

She had many regrets in that war; loosing her father, Athrun, the lost of countless lives, and more importantly getting herself lost in the process. Her cheerful and carefree aura had only become an excuse now, it no longer display what it usually would mean. It was all a façade now.

She was no longer the Lacus Clyne that Athrun knew.

That part of her died when Athrun walked away from her life; although that wasn't the real picture. She was the one that granted him freedom, even though it was Athrun's father that canceled the whole ordeal. She knew that brought some comfort in Athrun's heart, he was always reluctant about their parent's agreement.

She was happy for him.

She was happy when she found out that Cagalli was able to comfort Athrun where she could not…she wanted Athrun to be happy, so she had let him go…leaving her alone with Kira. Kira Yamato that needed her…

She remained by his side; comforting and offering understanding to his situation and his suffering. A part of her would always melt for the perfect coordinator, yet a part of her still wants to call out to her shinning armor and calm ex-fiancé; though she was aware that's no longer possible, he was with Cagalli and she didn't want to jeopardizes their relationship.

She and Kira lived in an orphanage home for children; she enjoyed playing with the children and admired their carefree conscience. They love playing with haro and tori, both hand made by Athrun, playing them often at the beach or in the gardens.

She wanted that peace to last, but somehow she knew it wasn't going to last. A part of her knew that she shouldn't have abandon the PLANTS as it was, she should have stayed and keep a silent role to insure that the events won't repeat itself or new ones, more catastrophic ones, takes place.

It was one of the primary reasons why she had kept a FREEDOM GUNDAM in one of the storeroom in the mansion in ORB, incase such a tragedy comes again. She didn't want that thing build so that Kira can become a soldier again, she knew that he wasn't prepared for it and didn't want it.

Her surprise and sad when Kira wanted to fight. She didn't want him to be like Athrun when he was with her during the wars, but she couldn't do anything about it. She could do nothing but consent since she was the one endangering their lives. She was after all the whole operation.

The assassination attempt on her life was salvage because Kira had won; all of the assassins had ended up and committed suicide. From that moment on, they knew there was going to be another battle.

Once again they were all provoke to yet battle, they all went to the newly improve Archangel with it's newly functions; and once again she was a fugitive, hunted by those that wishes her dead. Their option was all eliminated since they suspected that someone from the council or a higher official was the main mind that wanted her dead…they couldn't turn back and go to PLANTS like Commander Waltfield had intentionally planned at first, all the assassins were all sent by coordinators as their weapons had identified them to be.

After that tragedy, another came. Cagalli's wedding. Kira had interfere with this, knowing full well that it wasn't what his sister wanted, plus he believed that if she really wanted to end it with Athrun she would have done it herself. The news of her engagement to Athrun, didn't surprise her, she felt a slight fang but that was all it was…a strange feeling, or so she had convince herself.

She was happy for her, she never saw that side of Athrun, yet she was sad that Cagalli was willing to throw all of that away just for the sake of Orb.

Just as that tragedy came to passed, striking news have come their way yet again; one being Athrun's decision to joined ZAFT, the other being her doppelganger. She was so surprise seeing the other her looking so much like her, though it became clear why it was vital that she was eliminated so that this person could take her place and fool the people.

After knowing this basic facts, she knew that it was time for her to take some actions and return to the PLANTS immediately and find out exactly what it was that's going on. She wanted to find out what exactly is Chairman Gilbert Durandal planning. She and Commander Waltfied went to space. Found out his Destiny plan, and knew that they have to put a stop to it.

ZAFT's almost discovery of their hideout had put them in to risky making decision of getting discover and putting many lives in danger, she in the end choose to distract them away. Her way of taking responsibility for her subordinates mistakes while retrieving the journal about the destiny plan.

They manage to shake them off with Kira's arrival with the Strike Gundam, although it succumbed to severe damages just by breaking through the enemy lines. When she ordered Kira to return to the Eternal to give him a new suit, the strike freedom, she was very delighted to see him.

She later found out that Athrun had wanted to save her as well but was incapable of it since he was severely wounded from escaping. She knew that Athrun had his reasons for joining ZAFT again, she had always knew that he will return to them, and instructed for a custom made Infinite Justice just for Athrun.

The report that Orb will be a next target was anticipated by all of them; she knew; Kira knew that Orb would be the next battle field of ZAFT; since Gilbert would want to eliminate every nation that would be capable of revolting and resisting to his plans. She and Kira had prepared was prepared for that battle, but since Eternal is a spaceship it would have to remain on space, instead they prepare three mobile suits to be piloted by three loyalist of the Clyne Faction, the Doom Trooper, and the Justice and Freedom.

There arrival was time with the midst of battle, Cagalli piloting her newly acquired Akatsuki trying desperately to get Orb to fight back and take command of Orb as its representative once again.

While she piloted the Infinity Justice to its intended warrior, Athrun; she knew that he would asked her questions, and she didn't expect him to fight. Knowing that Kira could handle things himself even if he only have the support and back up of the Archangel and the Dom troopers.

She was sympathetic seeing Athrun in his state, she asked him how he was, intending it emotionally knowing full well he would only offer the same reply if she asked about his physical wellness. Athrun in turn asked her whether he was just a soldier; she had answered his question sincerely saying it was his choice whether he is one or will be one.

He had choose to fight, and after that battle is fought, he had return wounded. She was worried about his condition, but it wasn't her place to stand by him and support him any longer; regardless if every fiber of her being is yelling for her to.

The PLANTS then made a move to get the sympathy and support of every people and personnel they could get, using her doppelganger as bait, interrupting Cagalli's message that was being delivered to the whole world and PLANTS.

She did what she was suppose to do, open the eyes of the people, making her copy stutter and lost her words, searching a piece of paper for anything to retort to the real one.

Archangel became part of Orb forces, and we're issued on an order to go to Copernicus to gather information. Cagalli stayed behind to restore Orb in order.

There in Copernicus, Lacus finally was allowed to go out in the open after such a long time. Athrun being the protective man that he is, refuse this idea, claiming it wasn't a smart one. Kira had insisted in her defense that it would be alright as long as they are with her.

Meyrin had accompanied them as well; keeping her promised to Cagalli that she would looked after Athrun.

There they met her, Meer Campbell, her doppelganger.

She felt that she had to meet Meer, and accepted the letter that the red haro have given and went with it, despite knowing that it could be a trap or to Athrun's persuasion that she should not go. But she felt it was her responsibility to meet her regardless.

She had come to know the lost soul of Meer that was desperately looking for direction, another person that needed to be comforted, that needed to be appreciated for what she truly is.

Although it was all a set up, Meer had risked her life to save hers; her act of bravery would be forever sketch in her mind. She would remember her contribution and make sure it won't go to waste.

That war had continued on and ended in their favor, they had finally beaten Durandal.

Lacus intended to make sure that same recurrence won't happen again like last time. She had became the Chairwoman with the council's persistence and request, appointed Yzak as her right hand man.

She had accepted that role to provide a hopeful long and lasting peace for the future generations.

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Err…I know, not much had change on chapter one…but it's a prologue so…well I had to leave it as it is…what's the point of having a major spoiler as the epilogue…well there's a reason to it. I'm not telling though.

Good? Bad? Please review…if it's not too much!


	2. Chapter 2

YUUNAGI

Chapter 2

He was driving the familiar streets of the PLANTS, it seem awfully nostalgic to him. Driving around the city like he used to do all the time not so long ago, driving like a normal teenager was suppose to do. Hang out with his friends, laugh, and joke around. But he Athrun Zala was never quite a normal child, even through coordinators standards.

Looking back through times would always bring a small smile to his face, even if it was in an infinitesimal amount, he would have. How can he ever forget being young and carefree. Maybe it was because he shrugged it off now that he is a young adult, never looking back again to the old Athrun. One that was too prideful, carefree, and young.

He would never admit it, but he did take pride being Lacus Clyne's fiancé, even if he didn't like the so called arrangement at the beginning. She grew on him. It was much the same with how Kira's inability to make something simple grew to him.

They were perfect for each other, they balance each other out like a puzzle that match evenly. The thought sadden him that he couldn't be that person to her, but it was his own fault in so many ways. It was him that pulled away from her sincerity. It was his fault for ignoring her words, her comforts. Inevitably all the blame lies in him.

It's easier to blame one self over others; that way the hatred would go away.

He couldn't blame her; his father had issued an order to kill her father. There was nothing he could do about it, he wasn't even aware about it till he saw Lacus breaking down, pouring her heart out to Kira—his best friend.

It was painful to say the least. He loved her, and he still do, to loose her to his own friend was a painful strike in his honor, his pride. But, he had brought this out to himself. He could do nothing but openly accept this fact. Lacus Clyne had chosen his own best friend over him.

What a wonderful fiancé he was, it seems that every single relationship of his has ended downhill at some point of his life. Why is it; that no one could stay with him, for long? He always wondered whether it was his own fault all over again. Did he lack everything it takes to please a woman? Surely he thinks not.

Lacus, Cagalli, and then Meer.

Three women in his life all had left him for naught.

Cagalli, she will do anything for Orb…even if it means being a martyr…not to marry anyone…fight for her country…she will do any of those just for Orb. Somewhere down the road he felt like nothing compared to Orb. He found himself having a small fang of guilt for being jealous over a country, but what was there for him to do. It was the same every single time, he would wait for her, use his adopted bodyguard name—Alex Dino, just to be by her side for twenty-four seven, to protect her and love her. He would have gladly tied himself with her, but even their relationship was blasphemy. Who in their right mind would accept their relationship? They knew their friends and family would, but what about the people that she was ruling over.

'_Perhaps I knew from the beginning that it was a lost cause.'_

Perhaps that he knew it all along but decided to love her anyways. Because she alone understood what it was he was going through. She alone knows what it felt like to be tormented by the decisions that they had made during the heat of battle. She knew the pain of losing a love one, oh so well, that he felt attach to her cause of sticking to her father's ideals. Because they both have nothing left but each other.

'But isn't that the case with Lacus as well, she lost her father too, yet you Athrun choose to comfort and stay by Cagalli's side. That doesn't really say much of an excuse now does it, Athrun Zala.'

Sometimes the voice in his head would scare him. Why do men do things they do? And people would answer 'Why indeed'. It seems that the world runs from men and the repercussion of their doings.

Why did he stay with Cagalli's side all those time? She needed him. There was that; but also because he needed her. It would be a total lie if he said 'he never loved her', because he did with all of his heart.

Then there was Meer. Oh how her face bring so many memories. Memories of her that he thought he had put an end to seeing her with Kira and him being with Cagalli. No, Meer, made him remember all of those again. She would act in such extremity, trying to like her—Lacus, so badly, that she would extend her doppelganger play to being his fiancé. How buried memories that were suppose to remain buried didn't stay buried.

The frustration of such a thought would never be forgotten. Her extreme choice of clothing brought nothing good to his head, seeing the same face didn't help at all. And God forgive his thoughts if he ever saw Lacus in one.

Then there is Lacus, the pink princess, the song bird of the PLANTS, the kind sagacious woman she had become. Lacus would always be Lacus. He never understood half of her decisions. Just as he doesn't understand her decision concerning Kira right now.

He always suspected them to just get married one summer day, inviting him and everyone they know. But she didn't, he didn't, they didn't. Except their relationship had fallen apart. From what? PLANTS sake? The people's sake? ZAFT's?

He wanted to know.

That is why he is heading for a confrontation with her. He wanted to know what really had happen between them. He yearned to know, he wanted to know. Because he knew that she had love Kira, and to cast that away so fast, something was amiss. He wanted to know what that is.

That was half the reason for his confrontation with her, the other half he wasn't so sure. He tried to dwell on it and at the same time not to, he didn't want to end up hurt in the worst case scenario, a one sided love.

It had started to rain, the droplets drumming in his car roof, he wasn't driving fast. He was taking his time, trying to buy time, trying to figure out what to say to her, trying to sort out his thoughts before blurting them all out.

He glimpsed a glance on his side mirrors and saw a flash of pink hair.

"Lacus?" He openly questioned out loud. Not trusting his eyes that he had seen her. But he wanted to make sure, turning around to the other direction he parked his car and decided to head at the direction where he saw a flash of pink hair.

There in the middle of the park drench in the rain, stood his angel—his former angel. Goddess of victory to the eternal. She seemed lost in her thoughts that she didn't respond when he called out her name.

She looked at peace yet troubled at the same time, gazing at those pine trees. What is it that she is thinking? He always wondered about that. She had the power to affect people, to listen to her voice.

And now she is the chairwoman of the PLANTS, a busy woman next to Representative Cagalli Yula Atha.


End file.
